[00:00.66]Master Of The House
[00:01.27]Sacha Baron Cohen
[00:01.67]
[00:06.16]My band of soaks
[00:09.52]My den of dissolutes
[00:13.40]My dirty jokes my always pissed as newts.
[00:22.28]My sons of whores spend their lives in my inn,
[00:36.24]Homing pigeons homing in,
[00:40.50]They fly through my doors.
[00:44.11]
[00:47.39]Welcome,monsieur!
[00:53.24]Sit yourself down.
[00:56.66]And meet the best innkeeper in town.
[01:01.65]As for the rest all of them crooks,
[01:05.02]Rooking the guests and cooking the books.
[01:10.37]Seldom do you see,honest men like me!
[01:17.11]A gent of good intent who's content to be.
[01:24.16]Master of the House! Doling out the charm
[01:26.94]Ready with a handshake and an open palm
[01:29.68]Tells a saucy tale Creates a little stir
[01:32.61]Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
[01:35.03]Glad to do a friend a favour!
[01:36.52]Doesn't cost me to be nice
[01:39.69]But nothing gets you nothing Everything has got a little price!
[01:48.28]Master of the House! Keeper of the zoo!
[01:51.13]Ready to relieve them of a sou or two
[01:53.95]Watering the wine
[01:55.37]Making up the weight
[01:56.76]Picking up their knick-knacks When they can't see straight
[01:59.83]Everybody loves a landlord
[02:02.66]Everybody's bosom friend!
[02:05.39]I do whatever pleases Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!
[02:09.48]Master of the House! Quick to catch yer eye!
[02:11.94]Never wants a passer-by to pass him by!
[02:14.76]Servant to the poor Butler to the great
[02:17.57]Comforter, philosopher and life-long mate!
[02:20.56]Everybody's boon companion! Everybody's chaperone!
[02:26.12]But lock up your valises Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone!
[02:30.76]Food beyond compare! Food beyond belief!
[02:33.51]Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef
[02:36.33]Kidney of a horse Liver of a cat
[02:39.29]Filling up the sausages with this and that!
[02:42.06]Residents are more than welcome!
[02:45.15]Bridal suite is occupied!
[02:48.06]Reasonable charges Plus some little extras on the side!
[02:53.88]Charge them for the lice Extra for the mice
[02:56.80]Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
[02:59.47]Here a little slice There a little cut
[03:02.31]Three per cent for sleeping with the window shut!
[03:05.44]When it comes to fixing prices
[03:09.61]There are lots of tricks he knows!
[03:12.41]How it all increases! All them bits and pieces!
[03:15.19]Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!
[03:17.78]
[03:27.34]I used to dream that I would meet a prince
[03:32.01]But, God almighty, have you seen what's happened since?
[03:39.58]"Master of the House" isn't worth my spit!
[03:44.80]Comforter, philosopher, and life-long shit!
[03:49.92]Cunning little brain Regular Voltaire!
[03:55.05]Thinks he's quite a lover But there's not much there
[04:00.31]What a cruel trick of nature Landed me with such a louse!
[04:07.62]God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house!
[04:12.35]Master of the House! Master and a half!
[04:15.08]Comforter, philosopher! Don't make me laugh!
[04:17.83]Servant to the poor Butler to the great
[04:20.64]Hypocrite, and toady, and inebriate
[04:23.80]Everybody bless the landlord! Everybody bless his spouse!
[04:29.52]Everybody raise a glass!
[04:32.50]Raise it up the master's arse!
[04:35.27]Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the House!
[04:38.84]